10 Snarky Suggestions for Holiday Prezzies

1. The old adage, one must buy a present for oneself for each present one buys for another lends real meaning to the concept that it is better to give and receive.
2. Just so you don’t look cheap when Aunt Alice opens the heated toilet seat you so generously gave her this year, remove the original gift tag that shows Uncle Bob gave it to you last year.
3. Save yourself from the embarrassment of giving the same gift back to the person who gave it to you by removing the original gift tag at the last minute so you don’t accidentally forget.
4. Refer to last year’s gift list to see how much they spent on you so you don’t spend any more money than you need to.
5. Save the receipt for the sweater you bought for Cousin Susan, just in case Cousin Susan didn’t get you anything this year, so you can return it for one in your size.
6. Look through your closet for items you haven’t used, such as the set of wooden hangers, or something you have barely used, such as the size eight blouse, that doesn’t fit anymore. They will make perfect gifts for someone you hardly ever see.
7. Or (see #6 above) return the items to the store and buy a new gift that might be more appropriate.
8. Or (see #7 above) if you see something at the store you like, this might be the gift you get yourself to equal what you have bought for someone else (see #1 above)
9. Perfect gifts that you don’t have to buy include the place settings and overnight kits from your last First Class trip on United, tiny jams and mustard jars you found in the hotel hallway on somebody’s used room service tray, giveaway t-shirts from your company’s marketing department, and pens from your insurance broker or accountant
10. You can thrill your daughter with a hand-bound story about how cute she was and all the excitement it caused when she got her head stuck in the supermarket turnstile and it won’t cost you a dime.